Gabba Gabba Hey, Target…We Need to Talk
The faint noise you hear in your head isn’t just your inner voice lamenting how it’s only Wednesday. No, it’s the sound of ‘70s-era Bowery punks groaning at how Target recently bastardized and appropriated the iconic club CBGB for the opening of their new location in New York’s East Village.
And here we thought that whole John Varvatos storefront was awful!
A number of outlets from Brooklyn Vegan to Stereogum to Spin covered this tone-deaf display in the wake of its recent opening notably sharing an image of the “TRGT” awning.
There are a number of things wrong with this whole situation. For starters, there’s the obvious gentrification. I’m also puzzled how no one at corporate headquarters in Minneapolis thought this was a bad idea. Another thing to point out is the fact that this Target location is literally a mile away from the site of CBGB, so invoking the club is really silly.
The main point is this:
Target, stop trying to be “cool.” You are not cool. You are the place to shop when people don’t want to see a mullet in the wild (unlike one of your notorious competitors) and where wives go to escape from their boring husbands.
As someone who worked for you for seven years, which is long enough to where the thought of wearing khaki pants again makes me physically ill, let me offer up some advice: Stop trying so hard. Have you learned nothing from Kristen Wiig’s character?!
Actually, there was one thing you were really cool about during my time with the company. You never seemed to mind all of those times I came in hungover or when I was still a little drunk from the night before if I had an opening shift.
Hmmmm…perhaps you’re cooler than I thought, but still, never pull a stunt like this again. Oh, and don’t open on Thanksgiving anymore! Let your employees enjoy the holiday with their families, since dealing with Black Friday shoppers is the worst!
Erica Banas is a rock/classic rock blogger that loves the smell of old vinyl in the morning.
