Watch Comedy: Orny Adams Takes The Third Amendment

Have you ever cited the Third Amendment to the U.S. Constitution? I haven't. Do you know what the Third Amendment to the U.S. Constitution states? I didn't. Well, until I watched this comedy bit from Orny Adams, I had not really given it any thought since junior high school.

The Third Amendment to the U.S. Constitution states: "No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law." Sounds like our forefathers were thinking ahead, and wanted to make sure homeowners had rights regarding who gets to stay in their house. Thankfully, this is not an amendment which many of us have had to make use of during the course of our lives.

But, that doesn't mean we cannot cite this amendment in our every day lives! Orny Adams likes to utilize his Third Amendment rights as often as possible, as you will hear and see in the video clip below.

I love comedy. I really admire the talent of great stand-up comics. I think what they do is incredible. On the radio, I do what I do in a closed-door studio. I never see the audience. Stand-up comedians have to make people laugh while they are looking them right in the eye. It’s do or die. It takes guts, and great comedic chops.

So, I thought I would share some great stand-up comedy with you every Monday. Why? Because it’s Monday! Everyone could use a good laugh on Monday. So, here we go with our next installment. Enjoy! (There are some naughty words so parental discretion is advised.)

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Larry Martino is the long-time Afternoon Drive personality on 96.3 KKLZ. The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of Larry Martino and not necessarily those of Beasley Media Group, LLC.

My Cousin Vinny hit theaters on March 13, 1992. It would go on to gross a respectable $52.9 million at the box office. However, the comedy took on a life of its own thanks to film rentals and countless airings on cable.

The film was anchored by outstanding performances from Joe Pesci as the titular Vinny Gambini. He is called upon by his cousin Bill (Ralph Macchio) to represent him and his friend, Stan (Mitchell Whitfield), in a trial for a murder they did not commit. Initially, when questioned by police, Macchio's character thinks he and his friend are being arrested for accidentally stealing a can of tuna from a convenience store. The can of tuna and Bill's questioning of "I shot the clerk?" is still something that sticks with fans today.

Macchio shared in a retrospective piece on My Cousin Vinny for Rolling Stone that he has signed many cans of tuna for over the years. He recalled one fan interaction involving a can of tuna, "He said to me, "Can you sign it, ‘I Shot the Clerk.'" I said, 'Only if I can put a question mark at the end of it.'"

My Cousin Vinny would also see standout performances from character actor Lane Smith, who played district attorney Jim Trotter III. The comedy saw Fred Gwynne in his final film role before his death as Judge Chamberlain Haller.

However, the breakout star of the film was Marisa Tomei as Mona Lisa Vito, the girlfriend of Pesci's Vinny. Her performance would go on to win Tomei an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. Tomei's performance is so iconic it led to a hilarious NSFW scene in the 2022 film Fire Island. (You can watch that scene here, but again, NSFW language ahead.)

For fans, the film is endlessly quotable. Here are just 15 hilarious My Cousin Vinny quotes from the iconic comedy. (Honestly, we could've included more, but we exercised restraint.)

Ah yes, because Vinny's cowboy boots will help him fit in in Alabama. This is one of many instances we side with Mona Lisa Vito throughout the movie.

Vinny has a point here. Fortunately, he more than redeems himself by the end of the film.

The fact that this has led to Ralph Macchio signing countless cans of tuna over the years is priceless. Plus, his character Bill was well ahead of the curve on the importance of protein in one's diet.

Honestly, this whole scene just makes us hungry for grits. No, we're not talking about instant grits either.

The interaction between Joe Pesci and Fred Gwynne in this scene is simply perfection. It's truly a masterclass in line delivery and facial expressions.

The word "youths" has never been the same after My Cousin Vinny. Of course, it would take another turn thanks to Schmidt (Max Greenfield) on New Girl, but that's another list for another day.

This monologue alone made Marisa Tomei an Oscar contender. It's perfectly delivered and certainly makes you think twice about deer hunting season.

Joe Pesci should teach a class called "Smart Ass-ery 101." Put it online and charge a fee. It's definitely a "Shut up and take my money!" opportunity.

Again, the polar opposite dynamic between Vinny and the Judge is one of the many hilarious parts of the movie. Also, "You were serious about that?" is a great comeback for a superior if you ever feel like getting in trouble, but still want to remain a badass.

You have to give Vinny credit for trying to play by the rules, even though he faced a number of obstacles. Also, who hasn't been in a situation where they were forced to wear something they hated?

A fast cook? Real grits take much longer than five minutes to cook. Any self-respecting Southerner knows that.

Repeat: Pesci needs to teach "Smart Ass-ery 101." His line delivery here is just outstanding!

The misogynistic tone from D.A. Trotter takes a turn when Mona Lisa Vito absolutely schools him. Plus, the tone of her "However" gives the impression that she's been questioned about her automotive knowledge by some ignorant man before. 10/10, no notes.

The dueling dialog between Pesci and Tomei is incredible. Their chemistry is off the charts, and this scene alone shows that.

And with this scene, Marisa Tomei became an icon. Plus, it's another example of how well Fred Gwynne emotes throughout the entire movie.