Alexa, Clean My Butt

Author Morty

January 8th, 2024 11:23 AM

Smart bidets are now the new thing to add to your home bathroom.

We all use Alexa for everything. Locking and unlocking our doors. Turning our lights on and off. Even set alarms. She can basically do anything you want her to, as long as the object you want to react is connected to the Wi-Fi. Well now there’s a new object Alexa can control.

How Lazy Can We Get?

We’ve just started 2024 and we’ve already hit a new laziness. How? We now can ask Alexa to clean our butts. Yes, our butts. The bathroom brand Kohler is now selling a bidet toilet seat for $2,000. Why so much? It’s Wi-Fi enabled. This means you can connect it to your Alexa device, so when you’re done doing your business, you can say, “Alexa, clean my butt.” or anything of that sort. The bidet toilet seat will then proceed to clean your bottom.

But Wait! There’s More!

You’re probably thinking, there are so many cheaper options out there, what makes this one bidet toilet seat so special? Well not only will it clean your bottom, it will also dry it.

Consumer Electronics Expo (CES) is about to kick off here in Las Vegas. The conventions brings thousands to our city to see all the latest tech for this year. Kohler is planning to show off their new bidet toilet seat.

Kohler already has a smart toilet that does a lot of these features. It’s called the Numi. But this is a smart toilet. The toilet will set you back over $10,000. This is why the bathroom brand has decided to release the PureWash E930, which is the Bidet toilet seat. Yes, the price is set over $2,000 but is way more affordable than buying the Numi.

Now if you’re trying to save some money on the PureWash E930, you can find the new toilet seat on Kohler’s website for about $800 cheaper. But still, you’re spending about $1,289 for a bidet toilet seat.

If you’re wanting my opinion, lets not be lazy in 2024. Buy a cheap bidet toilet seat cover for $100 and call it a day. If you’re rolling in the dough and can shell out thousands for unnecessary things, than by all means go for it. And if you’re definitely balling, go for the $11,000 toilet with surround sound speakers.

We have more on this story in today’s edition of a Few Things You Should Know.

Morty is the Executive Producer of “The Mike And Carla Morning Show” on 96.3 KKLZ. He's been a part of the show and station for 5 years. Aside from producing the morning show, he has served as production director for over 20 years. Those commercials you hear between the music, he produced a lot of them for Las Vegas! He loves music, playing guitar, all things Vegas Golden Knights, the Steelers, and his English Bulldog, Squish! He will talk forever with you on any of these things! Morty writes about peculiar news stories and Las Vegas happenings.

Some Of The Weirdest CES Gadgets From Past (And Present) Shows

CES in Las Vegas has been happening for years now, but do you know the history of how the coolest – and strangest (which I will talk about later in this article) – new gadgets came to be shown off in Las Vegas?

The first CES was held in June 1967 in New York City. It was a spinoff from the Chicago Music Show, which, until then, had served as the main event for exhibiting consumer electronics. The event had 17,500 attenders and over 100 exhibitors! The kickoff speaker was Motorola chairman Bob Galvin.

From 1978 to 1994, CES was held twice each year: once in January in Las Vegas – The Winter Consumer Electronics Show (WCES) and once in June in Chicago – The Summer Consumer Electronics Show.

The winter show was successfully held in Las Vegas in 1995, but the summer Chicago shows were beginning to lose popularity, so the organizers decided to experiment by having the show in different cities starting in 1995 with a show in Philadelphia.. However, the inaugural E3 gaming show was scheduled to be held on the West Coast in May and was a source of increasing competition, causing the Philadelphia Summer CES show to be cancelled.

The 1996 Winter show was again held in Las Vegas in January, followed by a Summer show in Orlando, Florida, but just a fraction of the regular exhibitors participated. The next “Summer” show was scheduled to be held in conjunction with Spring COMDEX in Atlanta, but only two dozen (or so) exhibitors signed on, so the CES portion of the show was cancelled.

In 1998, the show changed to a once-a-year format with Las Vegas as the location. It’s now, of course, one of the largest conventions/shows in Las Vegas. The other biggie is CONEXPO – which takes about two and a half weeks to set up, run, and break down.

CES 2023 is over, and now in the books. We’ve definitely seen a lot of innovative, amazing, wonderful – and weird – items come out of CES each year.

Below are some of the weirdest, strangest, and bad gadgets to come out of CES over the past 20 years or so. Like the Taser holster, and toilet paper robot.

Some items are still being sold today. Maybe you have one?

-Carla Rea

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The Charmin Rollbot (2020)
2020: The year that saw mass panic buying of toilet paper. Along came a robot that could bring your toilet paper to you! Coincidence? Probably. The RollBot never really became a thing – but maybe it should have!

Photo: Mario Tama via Getty Images
The Happifork (2013)
The HapiFork is yet another vibrating gadget (not complaining there) that tells you to eat your meals slower. The idea being, that you are less likely to overeat. If you wolf your measl down like you’re in prison, this was the gadget for you!

Photo: David Becker via Getty Images
Hitachi Xybernaut wearable computer
This was first shown off at CES 1998. The Hitachi Xybernaut wearable computer was an amazing, yet terrible idea long before Google Glass was even a gleam in one’s eye. The Windows based Xybernaut Poma offered a 128MHz RISC processor and 32MB of RAM for the low, low price of $1,499, and it strapped to your arm, and your face, and your belt. “Hey! Wanna date me???”

Photo: Nina Ruecker via Getty Images
Withings U-Scan (2023)
Withings U-Scan is a toilet add on that – well – analyzes your pee. There’s a lot of potential data in your pee, enabling early detection of diseases and cycle tracking (for women), but there are also major privacy issues with this one.
Taser Holster (2008)
Back in the 2000’s, the iPod became such a cultural phenomenon that every company rushed to make an MP3 player of its own. This resulted in one of the dumbest CES products: the Tazer MP3 holster. Imagine trying to not only charge your holste,r but also connect it via USB to your computer to fill it up with a whopping 1GB of music!

Photo: Ethan Miller via Getty Images