I Did Karaoke With A Spider In My Pants

Beyoncé is in the news this week because she had a cricket crawl up her dress during a concert. And, like a true professional, she didn’t miss a beat. The story reminded me of a similar situation I went through in a Las Vegas Thai restaurant.

I won’t name the restaurant, out of respect for their business. Although I believe they’ve since shut down (I wonder why!). It was a few years back and I was out with a friend at a popular Thai restaurant near the Strip. We were enjoying the food and the karaoke the restaurant hosted every Thursday night.

Now I’m no where near as capable as Beyoncé when it comes to singing, but karaoke was always my jam. I felt in my element and nothing else was on my radar whenever I had a microphone in my hand.

It was my turn to sing. And I was really feeling it. Getting into the music and connecting with the audience. I was so deep into my craft that it didn’t even phase me when I caught a spider in my peripheral. It was a wolf spider. And not a small one. But I didn’t care. It was six feet away from me at the far edge of the stage. And I was getting my groove on.

At this point, you’re probably thinking “apples and oranges!” Since Beyoncé had an insect actually crawling on her. Wait right there. I haven’t played my hand yet.

The high I felt at karaoke that night kept me soaring as my friend and I sat at our table finishing our meal. As well as through the dessert and after-dinner cocktail. I was in such a good mood that I suggested my friend and I hit a club on the strip for a few more drinks. She agreed and we paid the check.

Minutes later we were in our respective cars (we drove separately), headed down Flamingo toward the strip. I was on the phone with her because we hadn’t bothered to plan our destination before getting in the car. So we were trying to decide where we were headed.

I remember very vividly that I wore my hair down that day. That’s not something you forget with what happened next. My hair was tickling my shoulder with my sleeveless top exposing the skin. So I brushed it off my arm. That’s when my “hair” flew off of my shoulder and landed on the passenger seat headrest.

I don’t remember quite as vividly how I got from the road to the nearest parking lot. But I’m sure it involved a lot of swerving and honking. Meanwhile, my friend, still on the phone, was trying desperately to figure out what I was saying through my bloody murder cries. From a phone that was now lodged somewhere beneath my seat.

Soon after she was in the parking lot telling me how dramatic I was being. She screamed at me to calm down and stop exaggerating about a giant spider. Until she saw it. The wolf spider. With what was clearly now at least a four inch leg span. Staring at her from the seat as she peaked her head into the passenger side window.

One dramatic scream became two. After yelling “oh my god that thing is huge!!”, my heroic friend took off her high heel and beat the spider so deeply into the fabric of my seat that it became one with the stitching.

It took several minutes for me to regain my composure. I don’t remember if we continued to the club or just called it a night. Whichever happened, that short trip on Flamingo was undoubtedly the most exciting thing to happen that evening.

To this day I don’t know when that spider found its way from the stage to my shoulder. Did he crawl up my long pant leg while I was singing and live in my pants all throughout dinner?

One thing is for certain, i didn’t handle it like a pro. Kudos to you, Beyoncé. You’re a true rock star.

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