ContestsEvents

LISTEN LIVE

FREE Halloween Jokes You Can Use All Night Long

It’s the time of the season and to add to the fun, we have FREE Halloween jokes you can use all night. For some reason, The Mike & Carla Morning…

A mummy holding a pumpkin for Halloween.

A mummy holding a pumpkin for Halloween.

Stamatoyoshi via Getty Images

It's the time of the season and to add to the fun, we have FREE Halloween jokes you can use all night. For some reason, The Mike & Carla Morning Show got a call with just one joke. Well, that turned into quite a few.

Now keep in mind that these are mostly "Dad" jokes with a Halloween twist. Carla Rea even had a few of her own! Actually, if you want even more comedy, the USA Today put out a list of jokes perfect for trick-or-treating!

Hey listen, we can all use a little humor about this time of year right? So, take them for what they're worth and use them sparingly. Keep in mind that less might be more.

Halloween Jokes That You Can Use On Your Kids

We suggest that you try them out on your kids first. Aren't they the best judge of "dad" jokes? We can tell you though, once we opened the flood gates, they all started pouring in!

You have to listen to the segment from this morning just to get you started. You can never have too many good Halloween jokes right?

Hey, why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts! LOL! See, that's what we're talking about! Good clean humor for all to enjoy.

Did you hear about the skeleton that walked into a bar and ordered a drink...and a mop! I said a "MOP"! C'mon, these are great jokes!

All right, one more and you're on your own. This is one from the USA Today article. But what happened to the badly behaved witch at school? She was "ex-spelled"! You have to admit, that was a good one.

All these and more just a click away. What are you waiting for...listen to the segment and keep the kids laughing all night long! Then, store them away for next year!

The most popular candy (and the worst) - has been revealed. And And for the first time a big favorite of many, has moved into the number one spot!

CandyStore.com reviewed candy purchases from the past 17 years, and put together a ranking of the top three candies in every state.  Of course, people buy candy for a lot of reasons throughout the year, so they just focused on the months leading up to Halloween.

Usually, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are the CLEAR leader at #1. But this year, for the first time - drumroll please - M&M's have surpassed them to take the top candy spot.  A key part of the win was M&M's taking Pennsylvania, and Arizona. Kidding - election humor...

Here's the top 10 most popular candy overall, along with the states where their number one candy was the top seller:

1.  M&M's: Number 1 in several states: California, Iowa, Kansas, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Washington state, and Washington, D.C.

2.  Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: Number 1 in Florida, Kentucky, New Hampshire, and Wyoming.

3.  Sour Patch Kids: Number one in Alaska, Delaware, Illinois, Maine, Nebraska, New York, and Texas. My mouth hurts just thinking about SPK's)

4.  Skittles: Number one in:  Alabama.

5.  Starburst: Number one in Indiana and Michigan.

6.  Hot Tamales: Number one in Minnesota, New Mexico, and North Dakota.

7.  Candy Corn (really??): Number one in Maryland and Utah. (Spoiler alert: You'll also see this on the list below, as one of the WORST candies)

8.  Hershey Kisses: Number one in Arizona and Colorado.

9.  Hershey Mini Bars: Number one in Hawaii - Nevada, baby - Rhode Island, and West Virginia.

10.  Butterfinger: Number one in Arkansas, Massachusetts, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Virginia, and Wisconsin.

Outside of that Top 10, you have Snickers, Jolly Ranchers, Almond Joy, Twix, and a lot more. Like Blow Pops, and Lemonheads. Here's an interactive map at CandyStore.com. See where your favorites landed.

The Bottom Of The Candy Barrel

And now the bad news. Here are some of the worst candies. Only according to CandyStore.com. So go ahead and enjoy those Necco Wafers.

5. Mary Janes

Apparently peanut butter and molasses just doesn't get people that excited anymore. But always remember, your worst might be someone else's best!

The Best and Worst Halloween Candystudia72 via Getty Images Plus

4. Necco Wafers

These are definitely a throwback. they are pretty plain, and pretty benign - and very chalky.  They are certainly not the worst of the worst, but they’re also not winning over the masses when it comes to popular candy.

Best and worst Halloween CandyTetiana Aleksieieva via Getty Images Plus

3. Candy Corn

Candy Corn is very polarizing. Many hate it. But some say it's the best candy ever! And they are wrong. Kidding! It's really just pure sugar overload. But Candy Corn still has a place in the great Halloween candy debate, love it or hate it.

Best and worst Halloween CandyNodar Chernishev via Getty Images Plus

2. Peanut Butter Kisses

Peanut Butter Kisses haven't quite captured the hearts of trick-or-treaters. Personally, I think Reese's kind of set the tone when it comes to peanut butter and chocolate. And let's face it- how can you beat a good old fashioned regular chocolate kiss?

Best and worst Halloween CandyMagone via Getty Images Plus

1. Circus Peanuts

Circus Peanuts have sat at the bottom of the Halloween Candy rankings for a long time. They taste like fake banana flavored, foamy sponges. Yummy, right? No. But they've been around for a long time. And why do they look like peanuts when they taste like anything but a peanut?? They defy logic. But they do have a certain charm. And they are a reminder of a bygone era of candy.

Best and worst Halloween Candy

Best and worst Halloween Candy

Let’s be friends! 👍 Follow us on all social media platforms:

Mike O’Brian is the Program Director and Morning Show host on 96.3 KKLZ in Las Vegas, along with Carla Rea. He has been with the Beasley Media Group for almost 23 years. Mike was named one of the “Best Program Directors In America” by Radio Ink magazine. Over the years, “The Mike & Carla Morning Show” have been presented with a number of proclamations for their work in the community and numerous awards. Having lived in Las Vegas for over 35 years, he writes articles on living in Las Vegas, sports, and odd stories happening within the state of Nevada. Mike is the host of the morning show and program director of 96.3 KKLZ/Las Vegas. He has been doing mornings in Las Vegas for the past 38 years. Over the years, he has hosted a numerous amount of community events and has been the P.A. announcer for a number of sports teams in Las Vegas. He has written on living in Las Vegas, the sports teams here, as well as odd & little-known facts about Las Vegas & Nevada.