West Coast Couples Are Doing Something Right In The Game Of Love

An interesting new study just came out that reveals that when it comes to relationships, West Coast couples might be doing something right when it comes to love. While the states on the west side of the country didn't necessarily dominate the list, it did make it pretty clear that west coast couples seem a lot happier than those in the eastern states.

How does one even measure such a thing? Well, experts at a company called QR Code Generator did some digging in the world of Google. They analyzed Google's search volume to see how many people in each state were searching for couple's therapy and divorce lawyers the most. Eight of the ten states on the list where on the East Coast. While the West Coast states didn't make the top ten at all.

Search terms that were included in the analysis were "couples' therapist", "divorce lawyer near me" and similar phrases. The first thing that becomes obvious while looking at the results is that something is going wrong in New Jersey relationships. At number one on the list, residents from NJ Googled "divorce lawyer" 6,008 times and couples’ therapist” 2,950 times.

It looks like New York couples aren't doing much better. "Divorce lawyer near me” was searched 9,583 times. And an additional 500 searches were made with the term “how much does a divorce cost?” Massachusetts, Delaware, Connecticut, Maryland, Pennsylvania, North Carolina and New Hampshire were the other East Coast States in the top ten, in respective order. The one state that isn't on the East Coast that landed in the top ten was Colorado, at number three. But still, no west coast couples in the top ten.

Continuing from number eleven on, we see Rhode Island, Virginia, Florida, Georgia...all East Coast states. So what the heck is happening to couples on that side of the country? It's no secret that the cost-of-living can be a challenge in that part of America. Is that what's contributing to the downfall of these couples? Financial stress?

It's also no secret that Nevada's cost-of-living has dramatically increased over the last few years. And the Silver State landed at number sixteen on the list of unhappy couples. We've also seen an unprecedented increase in our population recently. With roads, school systems and housing that seems barely able to keep up. That's a lot of stress that someone can take home and take out on their partners.

Earlier this year, Forbes reported that the top four reasons for divorce were 1. lack of family support, 2. lack of intimacy, 3. too much conflict and 4. financial stress. It stands to reason, then, that a more stressful lifestyle could easily contribute to more problems at home.

While California didn't land very high on the list of happy couples (#15), Washington and Oregon came up as producing much happier couples (20 and 24, respectively). But even West Coast couples can't claim the throne for the absolute happiest in the country. That title comes from states that are known for a less hectic lifestyle, further supporting this idea that lifestyle and health of relationships are connected.

According to the survey analyzing the aforementioned Google searches, the states that produce the happiest couples are South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Alaska and Idaho. Followed by Oklahoma, Arkansas, Iowa, Nebraska and Kansas.

To be fair, there could be other reasons that West Coast couples don't turn to Google to search for terms relating to an unhappy union. There could be a mindset that divorce isn't an option, pressure from family or religion to stay together, a stigma about therapy, etc. We also must consider the fact that, in this modern society, marriage has become less of an obligation and more of an option.

But one thing seems clear from this study: a stressful lifestyle can have detrimental effects on our intimate relationships. Maybe we should be Googling how to lower stress in our lives before we turn to throwing in the towel with our partner.

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Stress is obviously a part of life. More so now, it seems, than it ever has been in the past. And we all have learned ways to manage it when it rears its ugly head. But just managing the symptoms is not good for long-term change. It's more sustainable to lessen how much of it gets into our lives in the first place.

Now, before we label stress the bad guy, let me just put it out there that there are good and bad kinds, as you'll hear in the video below. It's the bad kind, or more specifically, the long-term stressors that can really do a number on your system. Check out this chart. It reminds us that not being stressed enough can make us inactive. But too much of it can put us in the red zone.

It's great to have tools in your tool bag for when stress does surface. Because it's inevitable this day and age that it will. But there are changes we can make to our lifestyles that can drastically lessen the amount of it we feel daily.

Being chronically stressed can lead to major health issues. According to the Mayo Clinic, if you feel constantly stressed, your body will stay in fight-or-flight mode. That means your cortisol and adrenaline levels stay elevated, and your heartrate and blood pressure don't regulate themselves. Long-term exposure to that can seriously mess up your body's processes.

The effect can lead to many health issues, including anxiety and depression. Even weight gain, headaches and sleep problems are linked to it. As well as digestive problems and muscle pain. Not to mention more serious issues like heart disease, heart attack, high blood pressure and stroke.

Here's a quick video that sums up the effects of the body from being chronically stressed. Listen to how much of our lives are affected by it. The body struggles to heal as quickly and stress even makes us age faster.

There are so many elements in our lives that contribute to us being stressed. Work demands, family life, being stuck in traffic with unsafe drivers. Plus the technology that makes us constantly connected to social media and has the world assuming we should be available 24/7.

Another possible source is the dynamics you have with the people in your close circles. Have you ever been in a bad relationship and thought there was something wrong with YOU that required serious remedies like medication or therapy? Only to have that relationship end and suddenly be "cured"?

Happens all the time. I'm not at all advocating for no therapy or to just ditch your meds. Just saying you should take a look at the relationships in your life as well as lifestyle habits you've become accustomed to. Maybe there are things that need to change.

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It cannot be understated how important sleep is for stress management. Try to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. That way your body can anticipate and make the most of the time you've set aside for repose. And ditch those electronics in the bedroom for the best sleep results.

One of the easiest lifestyle changes you can make for less stress is to learn how to practice mindfulness. This doesn't necessarily mean setting aside 20 minutes every day to meditate. Although that would be amazing. Mindfulness just means being present in the moment.

Whether that means putting the phone away when you're eating so you can focus on the tastes and textures of the food, or taking a moment to notice the sights and smells around you. Mindfulness brings you into the present moment and out of your stress.

A good diet is an essential element for keeping your body and mind performing at their best. And this helps to manage the daily stress we all experience. Try to avoid processed foods as much as you can. and eat plenty of greens and whole grains to get the most health benefits. If you are a meat-eater, opt for the leanest proteins you can.

You know that phrase "location, location, location"? Well that level of importance should be stressed on "boundaries, boundaries, boundaries". While it might be really challenging to say no when people ask you to do things, it's a MUST if you are stretched thin and not able to prioritize your self-care. There's a reason people-pleasers are exhausted all the time.

With everything we tend to pack on our plates, being able to juggle it all is vital. Think about it, if you start the day later than you need to get everything on your list done, you're setting yourself up for failure.

If you always feel stressed about your packed schedule, maybe waking up ten or fifteen minutes earlier can make a difference in the stress levels you have throughout the day.

They say the people closest to you shape who you become. If your circle of friends includes people who are chronically negative, its going to have an effect on your stress levels. So surround yourself with people who elevate your mood and you'll have an easier time handling stress.

And if there is someone in your life who does bring constant stress to you, you might want to seriously examine that relationship. Is it worth the long-term effects it's having on you?

Studies have shown that interacting with animals lowers cortisol. That's a stress-related hormone. Having a pet also boosts your mood and lowers your blood pressure. So maybe the next time you drive by an animal shelter, just take a look. Do you research on what breed matches your lifestyle and both your lives will improve.

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