The Truth About Men’s Mental Health In America

“Let’s talk about the mental health of men in America.” If you tried to strike up a conversation with a line like this, you’d probably hear crickets. It’s not a topic many people are comfortable talking about, especially in the U.S. However, it’s Mental Health Awareness Month. A perfect time to discuss all mental health, including that of our country’s “tougher” citizens.

Anyone who has grown up in America, especially before the 1990's, has heard the words “man up”, “don’t be a wuss” or the like. Phrases that are so much more toxic than any of us realized at the time we heard or even said them. Hearing such words throughout someone’s life puts a negative stigma on showing emotion. Which compels many people, especially men, to push their emotions down and bottle them up. A practice that can lead to increased health issues, a propensity for violence, or increased risk of substance abuse.

BeartoothMensRehab.com reports that bottling up emotions can make them stronger, causing someone to overreact or lash out to unrelated situations. Furthermore, they state that bottling emotions also puts undue stress on your body and "can actually kill you" with the physical health risks it can cause. Finally, BeartoothMensRehab.com reports, "People who bottle up their emotions are more likely to turn to the bottle (or cigarettes, junk food, or drugs) to help them cope with their emotions." Which can lead to addiction and even more health issues.

Further support is given by VeryWellMind.com, which reports that hiding emotions can impact self confidence and lead to depression. And that it can cause someone to feel stressed and anxious. They warn that "we may even feel deeply angry or rageful and develop feelings of resentment toward others." Hiding emotions has also been shown to have negative effects on our physical health. Including increased risk of diabetes, heart disease and memory issues, VeryWellMind.com reports.

A 2015 documentary called The Mask You Live In talks about the detrimental effect this kind of narrow-minded view of masculinity has had on our society. And how it has damaged the male population over the years. It has put an unnecessary pressure on men to not feel. Or worse, to feel only the emotions deemed as “masculine”. Like anger, rage or stoicism. You can watch the trailer here. Be warned, though, that some of it is not suitable for work.

Related: The Truth About PTSD, And The Myths We Need To Shut Down

Of course, this "toxic masculinity" isn't just hurting the men (or anyone) practicing it. It can cripple the relationships that person might be in. Including romantic, familial, professional or otherwise. And all because our society has, for some reason, decided that "sucking it up" is masculine. When you look at the proven results of this mentality, it's ignorant and illogical. So, unless we want "masculinity" to be equated with "ignorant and illogical", maybe something needs to change.

Health experts at Compare The Market recently conducted a survey to highlight the actual state of men’s mental health in America. And the results are pretty eye-opening.

First, the study revealed that 50% of men in America have suffered from poor mental health. And I would bet that number is even higher, specifically because of the second statistic the study revealed. Which is that 78% of men wouldn’t talk about their mental health because of the embarrassment and stigma that has come from doing so. The research also showed that one in four men in America have had suicidal thoughts.

Another interesting thing that came from this study was the spotlight it cast on the symptoms experienced by men suffering from poor mental health. According to the research, 40-50% experienced low mood, sleep issues, and social isolation. Symptoms our society might accept from men with little criticism. However, two symptoms that America has typically assigned to femininity, anxiety and emotional instability, were also reported by men in the study. Anxiety was experienced by a staggering 63% of men with poor mental health and emotional instability by 34% of those men.

The study also broke down the age groups that are more likely to talk about their mental health. It showed that 18-24-year olds find it an easy topic to speak about. While 55-64-year olds were among the group that it was hardest for. The factors that contributed to the poor mental health of the men in the study included financial issues, work pressure, abuse, trauma or neglect, and social isolation or loneliness.

Health issues were also a factor that contributed to the poor mental health of men in the study. Which just makes it all the more important to talk about, since we've already seen how not doing so can make those health issues even worse. Perpetuating and even worsening the cycle.

You can see the entire study conducted by Compare The Market here.

The study revealed many of the reasons why men in America don't share their mental health struggles. Thirty-five percent said they didn't want to burden someone with their problems. Twenty-five percent didn't want to feel weak by doing so. And 19% said they didn't want to admit they needed help.

Now, I'm not a man, so I can't fully understand why these would be valid reasons. For me, it sounds like pride is taking priority, in these cases, over mental health. Which, again, seems illogical, considering the negative effects that has been proven to have. However, this is America. Land of the free, home of the "brave". And I know that for many men, there's an expectation there. One that can come with much ridicule if not met. However, perhaps our country has abused the word "brave". According to Mirriam-Webster, it means "having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty : having or showing courage".

I think it's pretty darn courageous to go against the norm, to show vulnerability, and to overcome pride. And I see strength in facing the challenge of learning about and navigating through one's mental health. It doesn't mean it has to be shared with everyone. Just like a physical ailment you may not want people to know about, learning about mental health challenges can be private too. But when not getting help can be as detrimental as not seeing a medical doctor about a physical condition, it just doesn't make sense. Seeking out a therapist can be a very effective, and healthy choice that nobody needs to know about.

But still, some will take their pride (or fear) to the grave, even if that means the grave comes sooner. And that's a personal choice. As someone who lives in America and has been exposed to the stigma put on our men when it comes to showing emotion, I feel for them. What a tough position to be in. And I can't promise that the positive effects I've experienced in my mental health journey would be the same for a man, or anyone else. But I do know the conversation is becoming more and more acceptable. And that's a start.

If someone is courageous enough to speak up about their mental health, let's try to be part of the solution and refrain from encouraging the stigma that got us here in the first place. And, at the very least, let's just walk on with a little more awareness of what's going on with the mental health in our country. And show sensitivity for those who don't feel safe coming out from behind the mask our society forced them into. Maybe, with time, we will evolve into a more compassionate place to live.

For more Mental Health Awareness Month resources, tips and stories, click HERE. 

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Stress is obviously a part of life. More so now, it seems, than it ever has been in the past. And we all have learned ways to manage it when it rears its ugly head. But just managing the symptoms is not good for long-term change. It's more sustainable to lessen how much of it gets into our lives in the first place.

Now, before we label stress the bad guy, let me just put it out there that there are good and bad kinds, as you'll hear in the video below. It's the bad kind, or more specifically, the long-term stressors that can really do a number on your system. Check out this chart. It reminds us that not being stressed enough can make us inactive. But too much of it can put us in the red zone.

It's great to have tools in your tool bag for when stress does surface. Because it's inevitable this day and age that it will. But there are changes we can make to our lifestyles that can drastically lessen the amount of it we feel daily.

Being chronically stressed can lead to major health issues. According to the Mayo Clinic, if you feel constantly stressed, your body will stay in fight-or-flight mode. That means your cortisol and adrenaline levels stay elevated, and your heartrate and blood pressure don't regulate themselves. Long-term exposure to that can seriously mess up your body's processes.

The effect can lead to many health issues, including anxiety and depression. Even weight gain, headaches and sleep problems are linked to it. As well as digestive problems and muscle pain. Not to mention more serious issues like heart disease, heart attack, high blood pressure and stroke.

Here's a quick video that sums up the effects of the body from being chronically stressed. Listen to how much of our lives are affected by it. The body struggles to heal as quickly and stress even makes us age faster.

There are so many elements in our lives that contribute to us being stressed. Work demands, family life, being stuck in traffic with unsafe drivers. Plus the technology that makes us constantly connected to social media and has the world assuming we should be available 24/7.

Another possible source is the dynamics you have with the people in your close circles. Have you ever been in a bad relationship and thought there was something wrong with YOU that required serious remedies like medication or therapy? Only to have that relationship end and suddenly be "cured"?

Happens all the time. I'm not at all advocating for no therapy or to just ditch your meds. Just saying you should take a look at the relationships in your life as well as lifestyle habits you've become accustomed to. Maybe there are things that need to change.

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It cannot be understated how important sleep is for stress management. Try to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. That way your body can anticipate and make the most of the time you've set aside for repose. And ditch those electronics in the bedroom for the best sleep results.

One of the easiest lifestyle changes you can make for less stress is to learn how to practice mindfulness. This doesn't necessarily mean setting aside 20 minutes every day to meditate. Although that would be amazing. Mindfulness just means being present in the moment.

Whether that means putting the phone away when you're eating so you can focus on the tastes and textures of the food, or taking a moment to notice the sights and smells around you. Mindfulness brings you into the present moment and out of your stress.

A good diet is an essential element for keeping your body and mind performing at their best. And this helps to manage the daily stress we all experience. Try to avoid processed foods as much as you can. and eat plenty of greens and whole grains to get the most health benefits. If you are a meat-eater, opt for the leanest proteins you can.

You know that phrase "location, location, location"? Well that level of importance should be stressed on "boundaries, boundaries, boundaries". While it might be really challenging to say no when people ask you to do things, it's a MUST if you are stretched thin and not able to prioritize your self-care. There's a reason people-pleasers are exhausted all the time.

With everything we tend to pack on our plates, being able to juggle it all is vital. Think about it, if you start the day later than you need to get everything on your list done, you're setting yourself up for failure.

If you always feel stressed about your packed schedule, maybe waking up ten or fifteen minutes earlier can make a difference in the stress levels you have throughout the day.

They say the people closest to you shape who you become. If your circle of friends includes people who are chronically negative, its going to have an effect on your stress levels. So surround yourself with people who elevate your mood and you'll have an easier time handling stress.

And if there is someone in your life who does bring constant stress to you, you might want to seriously examine that relationship. Is it worth the long-term effects it's having on you?

Studies have shown that interacting with animals lowers cortisol. That's a stress-related hormone. Having a pet also boosts your mood and lowers your blood pressure. So maybe the next time you drive by an animal shelter, just take a look. Do you research on what breed matches your lifestyle and both your lives will improve.

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