Today Is ‘Break Up Day’ What’s You Plan For Today?

Today is "Break Up" Day. Did you know this was even a thing? It's two weeks from Christmas, so you can imagine there may be a bunch of break ups.

If you're in a relationship that you think is going pretty well, then receive a text today that that has "Can we talk?", you may want to prepare yourself for the worst.

Back in 2008, December 11th was dubbed "Break Up" day. Someone went through the trouble of analyzing a ton of Facebook status' and Facebook updates. They found a ton of people had broken up almost exactly two full weeks before Christmas. Why? Most likely the person who is initiating the break up doesn't want to buy a Christmas gift for their ex or soon to be ex. They also may not be ready to meet the family of your soon to be ex as well. There are many reason that you could come up with for the break ups. According to WCNC, they said roughly 40% of people use today as a way to get out of the relationship so they don't have to buy that gift for the holidays.

Experts say that there's a few reasons for a break up before the holidays. The holidays can be stressful for some. You also may be having second thoughts about the person meeting your family. They also say they found Monday is the day that tends to have the most breakups.

We know today is "Break up Day" but is there a day you most likely won't be dumped on during the holidays? They found that you're least likely to be dumped on Christmas Day, unless you're living in a Hallmark movie. But they say don't assume you're safe if you make it to the 25th.

The NY Post found a poll that says we also avoid breakups this time of year, so we're not alone during the holidays. On the day after Christmas, breakups will start to trend up and peak again during March.

We have more on this in today's edition of a Few Things You Should Know!

Everyone is looking for love and respect. It is the normal human condition. When we’re in a loving, respectful relationship, it is emotionally satisfying. However, when one often feels sadness, unhappiness, anger, distrust, low self-esteem, or fear, then these are signs you may be in a toxic relationship.

Every partnership comes with disagreements. If there are never issues, then it means you’re probably not talking to each other. That’s an issue in itself! Regardless, one fight does not mean you’re in a toxic relationship. With this in mind, it would be good to know the warning signs which identify a partnership that needs help.

There was a book released in 1995 titled Toxic People written by Dr. Lillian Glass. According to an article written by Sahlee B. on MyPositiveOutlooks.com, Dr. Glass was the originator of the term “toxic relationship.” Thus, in her book she describes the phrase this way: “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

For the most part, when we think of toxic relationships, we usually assume they start as romantic partnerships. However, you can also find bad relationships in the family dynamic, with friends, and even at work. Specifically, if any person you know demonstrates violent, abusive, or manipulative behavior, you should remove yourself from that relationship.

As has been noted, there are other relationship behaviors that may be more subtle. Those will be discussed when you scroll down. But, what are the reasons a person may demonstrate toxic behaviors? Dr. Glass identifies reasons such as “a harsh childhood, bullying at home and at school, mental health issues, or trauma.” Sometimes, the two partners, friends, family members, or colleagues just may be incompatible. That happens.

If you find yourself in a toxic relationship you must determine whether or not you can save it. Will a more open dialogue help? Should you call upon a third party, such as a licensed therapist, to assist? As much as these ideas may help you resolve your differences, there are situations when you just have to walk away. If you feel the other party cannot, or will not, change, then end the relationship.

Unquestionably, if you feel that your health and well-being are in danger for any reason, you should involve the authorities. Locally, you can contact Crisis Support Services of Nevada at 1-775-221-7600. Nationally, you can call the Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

Is there any joy left in your relationship? Are you unhappy most of the time? If all you're feeling is sadness, anxiety, emptiness, anger, or even worse, fear, then these is are signs that you're in a toxic relationship. Do you ever look at a happy couple and feel envious? According to Dr. Glass, that is another signal that you're in a bad partnership.

Of course, low self-esteem cannot always be blamed on your partner. However, if you never had these feelings of low self-worth before you got involved with this person, then that is a red flag you should pay attention to. Dr. Glass points out that if your significant other spends a lot time belittling you, manipulates you, lowers your self-esteem with words, and constantly criticizes you, then you need to take action.

This is a biggie for relationships. Once you've lost trust, it is very difficult to regain it. Dr. Glass points out that frequent lying erodes your ability to rely on your partner. Dishonesty also signals a lack of respect between significant others.

I was once involved in a relationship with a woman who would often get hostile with me. Let me tell you, it wasn't fun. I got out of that relationship pretty quickly after it happened a few times, but a lot of people do not. They become so accustomed to the verbal abuse, they just let it continue. Although being yelled at is the obvious sign of hostile communication between partners, name-calling and aggressive behavior are other things to be aware of. Dr. Glass also says the "silent treatment," or your partner constantly interrupting you, are other hostility red flags.

When you're involved in a disagreement, do you find yourself listening to figure out how you'll respond? Or, do you actually hear what your partner is saying so that you can better understand why you are both in this quarrel? If you or your significant other are constantly on the defensive emotionally during a disagreement, this is a warning sign. Dr. Glass would advise hearing what your partner says to better understand and empathize with their emotions.

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