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Larry Martino

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Can You Imagine Being Told You Have Cancer By Mistake

By Larry Martino June 5th

I cannot imagine the range of emotions I might experience if I am told that I have cancer by mistake.

We have all had family and friends who have received that awful news from their doctors. Some have survived and thrived after their treatments. Some have succumbed to this dreadful disease. You may even be one of the cancer survivors who has lived through the pain and agony of first receiving this horrifying news. And then, having to go through the treatments with all of their awful side effects.

Cancer Screening Blood Test

According to an article written by Amanda Holpuch on NYTimes.com, about 4oo customers who were prescribed the Galleri Multi-Cancer Early Detection Test by their doctors were sent an erroneous form letter. This occurred between May 10-18, 2023. Grail is the company that supplies these blood test kits. PWNHealth is the vendor that Grail uses to notify customers of their test results. And they had sent out hundreds of letters with incorrect test results. Hundreds were told they had cancer by mistake.

How Did This Happen?

But, here’s where the story gets a little confusing. Officials from Grail say the test results are not incorrect. Over half of the customers who received the erroneous letters had not even had their blood drawn for the test yet. The form letters that were sent out have incorrect information due to a “software configuration issue.”

Cancer By Mistake Issue Corrected

Per Holpuch’s article, representatives from both Grail and PNWHealth say that the error was identified very quickly. Grail contacted customers by mail and by phone to alert them of the situation. PNWHealth corrected the software issue within an hour of learning about the inaccurate form letters.

Emotional Damage

Still, the emotional damage these people must be feeling after getting news like this in a form letter must be overwhelming. And then, days or weeks later, you are told it was all a big mistake due to a software issue. I am sure many are relieved to learn they do not have cancer. But they still went through all of those awful feelings when they received the news. That is gut-wrenching.

Cancer By Mistake Lawsuit?

Being told you have cancer by mistake. That would tick me off. We will see if there is any litigation claiming damages from Grail and PNWHealth in the coming weeks.

10 Weirdest Songs To Perform CPR To, Per NY Presbyterian Hospital

As anyone who has watched the classic episode of The Office where the Dunder Mifflin team learned CPR (sort of) knows, the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive” is the perfect song to do CPR to. While the episode is hilarious, CPR is no laughing matter. Lyrically, “Stayin’ Alive” is a bit on the nose. But it is also 100 beats per minute, which is the perfect pace to administer CPR.

You shouldn’t be picky about music when administering CPR, of course. Time is of the essence. But just in case, New York Presbyterian Hospital has a playlist of songs at 100bpm. Though the playlist has 57 songs and runs 3 and a half hours, we picked the funniest and oddest ones to play in the crucial moment of saving someone’s life.

Per the Mayo Clinic, Cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) is a lifesaving technique that’s useful in many emergencies, such as a heart attack or near drowning, in which someone’s breathing or heartbeat has stopped. If you’re afraid to do CPR or unsure how to perform CPR correctly, know that it’s always better to try than to do nothing at all, so pick a tune and get to pumpin’ because the difference between doing something and doing nothing could be someone’s life. But, hey, why not dedicate a little time so that you are actually prepared to take action if you need to. Learn more about the basics here.

Incidentally, in the aforementioned scene from The Office, the CPR instructor tells Steve Carrell’s Michael Scott to sing “Stayin’ Alive,” and he instead starts singing Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.” That song is also at 100bpm, so that would have worked as well (assuming that Michael is better at administering CPR than he is at keeping secrets). But you wouldn’t want to start with the intro of that song, which is slower than 100 bpm, just jump right to the chorus.

See below our 10 favorites from the list:

  • Sorry - Justin Bieber

    Singing “Is it too late now to say sorry?” while giving someone CPR feels a bit weird, but hey, it’s 100bpm!

  • Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake

    Justin’s song is weird in this scenario, as it makes us want to dance. Don’t worry about bringing sexy back when you’re doing CPR.  Also: “Don’t be so quick to walk away.”

  • Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees

    Now the folks over at the New York Presbyterian Hospital, like The Office, have a great sense of humor to include “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees. It’s pretty on the nose!

  • Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects

    “When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.” Hopefully, giving someone CPR will have the opposite effect.

  • Work It - Missy Elliot

    Hearing Missy Elliot saying, “Is it worth it? Let me work it” while giving someone CPR seems like the most inspiring song on the list. Please note that this song and video may be NSFW, even if it might help save a life.

  • The Notorious B.I.G. (feat. Lil' Kim & Puff Daddy) - Notorious B.I.G.

    The music video (which may be considered NSFW) takes place in an ER (which is also a bit on the nose). Tracy Morgan makes a cameo as hospital security, which is hilarious.

  • This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race - Fall Out Boy

    Instead of being an arms dealer, it’s much better to be a breath dealer while getting someone’s breath pumping again.

  • Spirit In The Sky - Norman Greenbaum

    It’s also a bit on the nose: “When I die and they lay me to rest/Gonna go to the place that’s the best!” That’s all well and good, but hopefully CPR will delay that trip.

  • Float On - Modest Mouse

    Modest Mouse singer Isaac Brock may not have been sincere when he sang “Well, we’ll float on, good news is on the way.” But you can take it literally in this instance, especially after successful CPR.

  • Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd

    Keep them “big wheels” turnin’ so you can go back to whenever you call home, whether it’s Alabama or anywhere else.

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Larry Martino is the long-time Afternoon Drive personality on 96.3 KKLZ. The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of Larry Martino and not necessarily those of Beasley Media Group, LLC.

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