Arguing Naked And Other Unique Relationship Rules
Ok, listen up! I’m going to save your relationship with these unique relationship rules.
Rule number one: If an argument is escalating, take your clothes off, THEN finish your argument. We talked about this on the Mike and Carla Morning Show – and it’s just that simple!
It a piece of advice from Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist who specializes in marriage and relationships. When you and your significant other start fighting, you both need to pause for a second and immediately strip down to your birthday suits.
Here’s why this is actually very smart. When we get into arguments, our caveman brains go into fight-or-flight mode and we acting out of instinct. That’s why we start yelling, saying terrible and hurtful things we really wouldn’t say otherwise, and don’t listen or even think clearly.
But when you’re completely naked you pull your brain out of that tailspin, because you’re much more vulnerable when you’re wearing only flesh. Suddenly, the situation just feels too weird for you to keep going down that instinctual, hurtful path. So you can keep arguing naked, but you’ll both me more “in the moment” and more likely to listen to each other, act rationally, and diffuse the tension.
In a recent Buzzfeed poll, other couples added their unique and unconventional relationship advice.
One couple said a de-escalation rule they have when they are arguing is to start whispering when their arguments get too intense. You can’t take yourselves seriously when you intensely whisper. You can’t help but laugh, and continue your heated discussion in a more loving way.
Here are some other unique ways to communicate in your relationship:
1. Never seeing or dealing with each other’s families: That includes going to family functions alone, even holidays like Christmas.
2. Having all your big fights over text: It forces you to slow down and respond without blurting stuff out in anger. It also creates a paper trail, so you can prove what someone did or didn’t say.
3. Living in separate homes: This is more common than you would think. Especially with couples who come into a relationship already owning a home. I personally have friends who have been married for about 17 years, and have separate homes. They are about a mile from each other, and they are still blissfully happy. It works for them.
4. A chicken nugget tax: If either of you make them, you have to bring one nugget to the other person before you eat any. This is beautiful!
5. On-demand make-out sessions: At any time, you can say “I need 30 seconds,” and they have to give you 30 seconds of uninterrupted kissing. This should be the “golden rule.”
6. No checking in. Zero pressure to call or text when you’re out of town or away all day. They’re not allowed to get offended or upset.
7. Separate groceries. You can still share things like the milk and butter. But otherwise, just go to the store yourself and buy whatever you want. Your wine is YOUR WINE!
8. Mid-argument “I love you’s.” If you need to storm out of a room, you have to say “I love you” first. Why? Because you truly just never know.
9. Don’t get married: “We don’t want to get married. We already feel as devoted as a married couple.” Then DON’T.
Good luck, and enjoy your chicken nuggets!
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