Carla Rea Talks About Losing Brother, And The Different Place You Hold When Siblings Leave Us
I think many of our Mike and Carla Morning Show listeners know that I lost my brother Mark to cancer in September. It was a horrible battle, that he lost five months after diagnosis.
We celebrated his life over the weekend, with just family, and close friends – the way he would have wanted it. He wasn’t one for pomp, but family, and good food, were important to him – as it is to all Italians!
Losing our parents is one thing. It’s awful. I always say that you lose your “checks and balances,” when both of your parents are gone, and you never truly get over it. But we know that day may come, and I suppose it’s the natural progression.
No matter what your relationship is with your brother or sister, he or she has pretty much always been there in one way or another–holidays, birthdays, on weekends or for many – even daily. There’s a rhythm to the way you interact with your siblings, whether connecting, conspiring, arguing, – twisting your nose with a nutcracker – that has now stopped.
The death of my brother has changed me. I think the main reason is that I feel out of order. There’s a natural pecking order with siblings, and losing my brother feels like I’ve lost a huge part of my past, and my future, because our siblings a re a HUGE part of who we are.
In some ways we’re more “prepared” for the loss of older relatives–our grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles. But, our siblings are supposed to make it to the end with us! Our siblings never age! They are supposed to be there for all of the big moments in our life!
It’s odd, and I feel like I’m re-adjusting to my place now. My immediate family now is just my middle brother, who is also one of my best friends, so he better never go ANYWHERE! It’s a very strange feeling, and I hope no one ever has to deal with it, but I also know that death is also a part of life – and it SUCKS.
My brother Mark: Pediatric and neonatal nurse practitioner, respiratory therapist, piano player, Three Stooges lover, and one of thee smartest people I ever knew. RIP big brother.
-Carla Rea
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